Check out these completely awesome public service announcements starring Hilary Duff, Wanda Sykes and…. some other lady I should probably recognize but don’t.  They’re so gay!

The illustrious humorist Natalie Dee has introduced bear week.

Natalie Dee: It's bear week

I’ve never quite been able to understand precisely what constitutes a bear, or what exactly it is that differentiates a bear from a bear cub. While the taxonomy may be a bit fuzzy, we can all agree that bears deserve a week (at least!) of celebration. Fo grizzle.

Fuck you, Burger King. You have now reduced the beauty and hotness of man-man love to the most basic of cliches: man meat.

Burger King has created a fragrance called Flame. Not a relatively harmless J. Lo, Sean John, or Britney kind of fragrance. You know, the ones with the self-important, tormented pseudo-fantasy plot line commercials with the “artist” breathily whispering the silly fragrance name to the thud of a distant heartbeat. They make all your magazines sneeze-worthy. No, this is a fragrance that is billed as: “a new men’s body spray: the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”

What would have possessed you and your advertising whores to do this, BK? Who the hell did you think would buy this shit? I would have loved to peeping Tom on that focus group…

Burger King has, one must assume, turned a profit on Flame, which cost $3.99 a spray bottle before it sold out in stores. According to the interwebs, it is now only available on Ebay, where it can be found for upwards of 30 bedonkadollahs! And, as Rachel Herz, a Brown University psychology professor and author of The Scent of Desire: Discovering Our Enigmatic Sense of Smell puts it, there is a market for this type of scent, though perhaps not the one Burger King might have expected (or maybe it was expected?). A Los Angeles Times columnist explains: “Herz points out, men who wear Flame are theoretically likely to be successful in attracting people to them — as long as those people are other men. ‘Meat is at the top of the list in terms of male-rated smell,’ she says. ‘Men rate the smell of meat the way women rate chocolate.’”

OMFG, a disgusting gay fragrance! With all the seductive power of meat-stinking perfume, why not skip the Barry White for a simple soundtrack of burps and farts? Instead of foreplay and soulful discussions, you can pound your chests and scratch your balls. You can make fast, humpy, meaty whoopie on a pile of dirty socks and skid-marked underwears then play boring and violent video games from the toilet seat all night long. Wait, my labia be still, do gay guys do that now?!

Be careful, boys. As the saying goes: one man’s meat is another man’s poison. One can’t be sure that wearing Flame will enhance one’s studly gravitas. On a bright note, it’ll be nice for the ladies not to feel like the only pieces of meat for a change.

If you can’t control your thirst for man meat, then check out what lies below.

Enjoy squirting your fragrant load on the Flame fragrance website, which was totally designed by a moronic/hilarious thirteen-year-old boy:
http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/

Uggggh, this ad is as retarded as that frikkin plastic Burger King head. Put some clothes on, idiot: