On this Martin Luther King Day, one day before the historic inauguration of the United States’ first president of color, I encourage everyone to also remember Dr. King’s wife, Coretta Scott King, who died almost exactly two years ago.

Refusing to rest on her laurels, Mrs. King became an outspoken advocate of gay rights, for which she was heavily criticized by many conservative members of the African American and Christian communities.  Mrs. King, however, believed strongly that it was a distortion of her husband’s cause to celebrate him from the same pulpits and podiums which were, on other days, used to spread homophobic messages.

Here is one of my favorite quotations from Mrs. King:

Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood. This sets the stage for further repression and violence that spread all too easily to victimize the next minority group. (Chicago Defender, 1 April 1998)

To read more about what Coretta Scott King had to say on the subject of gay rights, check out Soulforce’s excellent website.

So, as you know, bigots around the country were more than happy to contribute their money and time to help pass Proposition Hate in California (banning gay marriage)–which, I might add, even after all of those resources, still only passed by a margin of 1%.

It turns out that, in California, the name and address of anyone who contributes more than $100 to a campaign is public record.  Well, some homos had the brilliant idea to publish this information on Google maps so that everyone could know which of their friends, neighbors and local businessmen were in fact backstabbing fuckfaces.  You know, the kind who say things like, “I’m not homophobic, I just think marriage should be between a man and a woman.”

Well, guess what, princess:  Yes, you ARE homophobic.  And now, we know who you are.

But here’s the best part.  Now these fuckfaces have filed to have the public record of Prop. Hate supporters suppressed because they claim a) it diminishes their right to free speech and b) they are experiencing harassment and discrimination.

Well, doesn’t THAT fucking take the cake.  I thought that the gays were experiencing harassment and discrimination because WE ARE DENIED THE SAME LEGAL RIGHTS AS EVERYONE ELSE.  But I guess I got it all wrong.  The bigots really have it hard.  Boo hoo.

Furthermore, while the Constitution does guarantee the right to free speech–free speech does not mean free of consequences.

To conclude, please send lions.  We have an idiot problem.

Marriage Ban Donors Feel Exposed by List - NYTimes.com.

Incoming Press Secretary Gibbs has announced that Obama will overturn Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, allowing gays to serve openly in the military.  Now, I’ve made no secret of the fact that I think one of the BEST things about being gay is not having to worry about being in the military, so I have seriously mixed feelings about this.

More to the point:  Two months ago, I would have never dreamed I’d be accusing Obama of stoking the culture wars to distract from more important things.  And yet, here we are, and I’m…. concerned.  If this is really about gay rights, then great, I guess (although I can think of a bunch of gay rights much higher on my list of priorities).  But, you know, beggers can’t be choosers.  On the other hand, if this is just another case of trotting out the gays to take the heat off the hard shit–then that’s lame, Mr. Obama.  Very lame.

FOXNews.com - Obama to End Military’s ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ Policy

I have been crushing on Kate Winslet since… oh, forever. She chooses such delicious roles, she acts them so incredibly well, and AI AI AI!, her gorgeous eyes, her silky smooth skin, her curves, her curves, her CURVES!

I wasn’t at all surprised when I saw the following interview with Lady O: [insert overdone Oprah and Gayle lesbian joke here. For the record, Oprah, I adore you. You just go ahead and be your bad self!]

Once again, Oprah, you know all of my favorite things!

OHHH to be Leonardo DiCaprio and interact with those beautiful, REAL breasts on the most romantic sinking ship EVER! To caress them and cherish them in all their magnificence in boring, mindless suburbia… what a fool I would be not to run away with them to Paris! Sweet dreams, tell me what would it feel like? What would it SOUND like?

And then my answer came:

YES YES YES! Oh, glorious sound! I’m King of the WORLD!

Talk about timing!  This week, at long last, Noah and Luke–everyone’s favorite daytime gays from As The World Turns–finally, after almost two years of “waiting for the right time,” finally got their shit together and bumped uglies.

Or, I mean, I guess they did….

As I concluded in my previous post on As The Anus Turns, mainstream America insists that all gay love take place off-screen.  So what we actually see is some kissing, removing of shirts, and then…. cut to commercial!  The next thing we know, the boys are emerging, post coitus, from the bathroom.

To be honest, after waiting this long, I’m not even entirely convinced that Noah and Luke KNOW what to do.  The show basically portrays them as Ken dolls–handsome, impeccably coifed, plasticine, full of romantic feelings, but functionally castrated.

On the one hand, I give As The Anus Turns credit for portraying young gay male characters in a way which does not pathologize their emotional lives.  Nonetheless, I think that Noah and Luke are in many ways disturbingly Victorian:  The extent to which they are full of “fine sentiments” serves to sanitize and disguise the fact that gay sexuality is a sexuality.  By making gay sex something from which the viewer’s gaze must be averted, it implies that this perfectly healthy (and, in Noah’s and Luke’s case, loving) act is shameful.

So call me medieval, but until I see the bloodied sheet, I will not be convinced that they didn’t just play with each other’s hair.

Oh, and speaking of hair, the post-coital scene highlights two gay superpowers: Namely, the ability to shower while wearing pants; and second, the ability to emerge from a shower fully blow-dried.

Observe:

Many conflicting emotions surround the announcement that openly-fabulous Gene Robinson has been invited by the Inaugural Powers-That-Be to give the invocation at the first inaugural activity. He is the only openly gay bishop in the Episcopal Church, wowzas! Read about his invite here: Bishop Gene Robinson gets inaugural role

We heard Gene Robinson speak one time (he was awesome) and hung around awkwardly after his talk to shake his hand and say hi (he was nice) and enjoyed a brief chat and joke with him (he was funny and total cuteness!). Sigh.

The openly-female Reverend Sharon Watkins will also participate in the presidential revelry, giving the sermon at the National Prayer Service the day after the inauguration. That should give her plenty of time to do her hair and pick out an outfit haaa haaa haaaaa. She is the first woman to serve as general minister and president of the 770,000-member denomination of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), amazing!

What does all this mean? Should we be mad at inauguration should we be happy should we be…? Our homo heads are in a tizzy! Lord, what a fucking shit show.

While having dessert in an undisclosed location called Pizzeria Uno, we spotted these absurdly phallic wall-mounted lamps.  Heh heh.  I just said wall-mounted….

Wait, where was I?  Oh yes….

My, what a firm grip you have there!  But we all know that sometimes, you need both hands….

Ooooh, baby, I love it when you grab the base while tickling the tip.  Sky rockets in flight!

….and, we have liftoff.

Science, babies! Check it out: Smarter Men Have More Sperm

From the article:
“The researchers… speculate that intelligence might be passed down as part of a larger package of good attributes. One gene can influence multiple traits, so the genes involved in smarts may somehow improve sperm quality - and perhaps other characteristics as well.” Like a big penis?! A “package of good attributes!” Ahhahahahahaha!

“What a waste!!”~straight women everywhere

Hold up, hold up. Everyone knows that gay men are smarter than straight men. It’s like known scientific fact.

Those straight women have a point. They need those spermies to prevent the spawning of more and more stupid babies! The fate of humanity lies in the hands… no, in the testicles of gay men.

Do you hear that America? We need more gaybees, STAT.

“We shall rejoice!”~eugenicists everywhere

Just in case the point wasn’t clear enough, evangelical bear cub Mary Driscoll should be aware than it isn’t just straight people who can have 2 become 1.  Gays are perfectly capable of having 2 become 1, or 3 become 1, or 4 become one, or…. well, you get the idea.  In case you have a limited imagination, here are just a few of the most basic “merging” techniques, charmingly illustrated by dirty mannequins!