Graduate students are horrendously flakey about everything. Planning skills, NOT SO MUCH! I have taken a number of real responses and e-mails from graduate students and edited them slightly, to show how their flakiness really just means that they are never EVER fucking. No wonder they are so unhappy and confused!!

You: Want to have sex with me tomorrow night at 9pm at my place?

Them: I maybe probably definitely sort of will be joining you for sex, but I can’t say for sure.
—————

E-mail You: Let’s get together for sex. When works for you?

E-mail Them: Very exciting to think of having sex with you! I’m not in town. Not sure when I’ll be back. Maybe not for a month… (I’m such a procrastinator…) Though there is a chance that I’ll be around for a couple days later this week. Keep me posted on plans. Looking forward to having sex with you!!
—————

E-mail You: I would love to plan a time for us to have a double date and then have bi-curious group sex. How is next Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

E-mail Them: OMG thanks for your invitation! I feel terrible (and embarrassed) that I’ve fallen so out of touch. Right after we last e-mailed, I jerked off for an hour, and then I fell asleep for an unknown amount of time. When I woke up I was hungry (and horny again!). I’ve also been going a little crazy trying to write my 10 page paper which was due 4 months ago. Let me check with my partner about the next few weeks — we’re actually going on vacation, then going on another vacation, then jerking each other off for a while — things really have been insane this last few weeks! - but hopefully we can figure something out soon and have great bi-curious group sex.
—————

You: [insert witty and adorable comment that effectively serves as a home run come-on because you are so precious]

Them: I loooooooooooove talking to you. I feel like we have such a connection! Let’s totally get together for some pussy bonking!!!

You: Awesome, how about next week for lunch?

Them: Next week for lunch would be [falls into a giant wormhole]
—————

Them: Please leave a message after the tone. BEEEP!

You: Hey fuckbuddy! We’ve been fuckbuddies for a long time now and have really been there for each other. I would like to offer you unlimited fellatio, free of charge for the next week, because I know that you really need it. What can I say, I’m feeling generous. Call me!

Them: [silence]
—————