Should the hip, jeans- and hoodie-wearin’, Facebook-in’, and iTunesin’ evangelical pastor Mark Driscoll fill in for Rick “I keep extra love for the baby Jesus in my extra chins!” Warren at Obama’s inauguration? Mark Driscoll’s video sermons are too dirty for GodTube — that’s hot as hell. This could really work! Driscoll is just like us: he swears a lot, he likes sex (he used to be a fornicator!), and he is “on the cutting edge of American pop culture.”

There’s juuuuuuust one problem. He doesn’t like girl sex or boy sex, just boring old married man-woman missionary position genital contact:

Damn you, Mark Driscoll! You’re from SEATTLE! Love for the gays is like an additive in your water. For Christ’s sake, if you keep spewing filth and blabbering on like you do in this video I’ll lock up your labia and throw away the fucking key.